I heard his little footsteps coming down the stairs toward the laundry room. He was four and recently had asked that I stop calling him “Jaker-Breaker-One-Niner”, and instead requested that I call him “Super-Big-Tough-Guy” when I felt the need to use a nickname. I paused my laundry folding long enough to see his sweet, sweaty little face twisted into a frown.
“What’s up, Jake?” I asked.
“I was playing outside and I fell. I cut my leg and it hurts really bad.”
Trying to encourage him I said, “Aw, come on, buddy! You’re Super-Big-Tough-Guy! You’re gonna be ok!”
“I don’t know, Mom,” he replied. “Today I think my cut is tougher than I am.”
Eleven years passed. Eleven years of fishing, soccer, cub scouts and VBS. Eleven years of football, basketball, Sunday morning church, and Wednesday night youth group. Eleven years of me saying, “I’ll be up in just a second to tuck you in,” – no matter how old he got. We would talk, pray, and hug goodnight and always before I pulled away, he would reach for my hand and give it a squeeze.
Eleven years passed.
Then one day in August when Jake was 15, a few seconds passed that changed everything. Screeching impact, mangled metal, and shattered glass, forever changed the landscape of life as we knew it.
My world cratered.
I found myself staring at his casket with a wound that was most certainly tougher than I would ever be.
King David has read my mail and expressed my soul cries more than once. Open the Psalms and you’ll hear the greatest warrior in the history of the Hebrew people pour his raw emotion out to God. When the pain weakened his stamina to a crawl in Psalm 61:2 he wrote, “Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” By his own admission, when he penned those words, his heart was faint – as in no strength to stand, much less fight. Let that sink in. Hurting doesn’t mean you don’t have faith. Struggling doesn’t mean you aren’t seeking hard enough. Even “the man after God’s own heart” was brought to his knees.
Me too. More than once. How about you? Anxiety you can’t shake. Depression that drains the color from your days. Fractured relationships, unfavorable diagnoses, financial uncertainty, the shame of the past, the secrets you think you could never share, the expectations you feel like you have to live up to, one-off decisions that grow to addictive self-medicating habits. None of these are circumstances we were designed to navigate alone.
You aren’t alone. Neither am I.
In the leg-weakening faintness that David confesses resides an opportunity; a treasure hidden in the secret places of mental and emotional anguish. The treasure is this: to collapse on the Rock that is higher than I means we can rest on the solid ground that will not be moved by the wind, is too high for the waves to overcome, and is out of reach of the enemy. In the depth of anguish, God shows up. The higher rock represents closeness to God and intimacy with our Creator. What does that look like in real-time experience?
It looks like H.O.P.E.
Healing compassion - God comforts through presence. David turned to God first. He loved God. Spend time in God's Word and in physical places/spaces that help you to connect with the Lord.Be in nature, write out your experiences in a journal, go fishing, or play an instrument if that is your release. Our son, Jake, felt God most on a basketball court so he would shoot hoops when he needed Father time. Put yourself in spaces where you are actively pursuing communion with the Holy Spirit. Be raw and real. Nothing will get fixed in a day, but over time He opens our eyes to things we didn’t see before and in His company, healing will begin to take place.
Open conversations - God supports through people. As we mature in faith, we begin to recognize we were designed to be interdependent. It takes courage and humility to be open, so find trustworthy people that you can process with. One reason we have Grow Groups is to bear the burden of others. Faith-based licensed therapists and certified life coaches are a great option. Wise mentors and trusted friends need to have a space on your team. Your location pastor can be a great resource and is already walking out the role of shepherding the church family in your location. And if there are people in your life who you think might be walking through a tough time, reach out. Serving others doesn’t always look like going and doing. Sometimes it means sitting with and listening.
Practicing the basics - Don't divorce the physical from the mental and spiritual. We are breath and dust. Spirit and Body. Our bodies need fuel, rest, and movement most when we least feel like doing it. Fuel your body well without seeking comfort in food or drink, which complicates healing in the long run. Taking a walk can do wonders for our mindset. Sleep may be difficult and illusive; and nights can be especially hard. Prioritize low lighting and a comforting routine. Seek help when necessary.
Exercising wisdom - God encourages through influences. Be wise about what you let into your space. Music, podcasts, social media, and streaming services can be positive or negative. There may be relationships that need stronger boundaries when you are healing. Use wisdom about what you feed your soul (mind, will, and emotions). These influences shape our thoughts. Our thoughts become the meditations we live from. Fuel your soul well.
We all deal with the effects of living in a world that is not Heaven. However, God is near. As we approach World Mental Health Day on October 10th, we can know that though we may beg for smaller oceans, we have a Father who trains our feet to walk on waves. No matter how tough our wounds may be, if we embrace the intimacy of our heavenly Father, we will draw strength for the journey, comfort in the tension, guidance in navigating resources, and companionship for every moment from a God who is tougher still.
Heather Oden | CrossPoint Sterling